Recent news stories23 Jun 2009 - Chris Brown Won't Go to Jail; Will Pull Kudzu off the I-68 Exit
Remember when Chris Brown beat the crud out of Rihanna? What a asshole! Well, yesterday he was sentenced. Paris Hilton drove without a license once and was in jail for two weeks. Chris Brown made his girlfriend's head blow up like a basketball and he gets to do some light gardening. TMZ says: Chris Brown has copped a plea in his assault case. He won't do jail time, but he will spend 6 months doing...
(full story) | 23 Jun 2009 - Paris Hilton Doesn't Care About Your Social Conventions
When we think of Paris Hilton, we think: rebel! She's so unconventional. She doesn't pony to anybody's rules. You can't tell her what to . . . oh, wait. Did we say Paris Hilton? We meant someone else. Probably Bijou Phillips. We're always getting them confused. No, we're pretty sure Paris will do just about anything you tell her to. Especially if you say that putting her name on a line of glittery body lotion...
(full story) | 22 Jun 2009 - Britney Spears, Time Traveling Movie Stahhhh
We love love love fake stories about the movies and TV shows celebrities are supposedly set to star in that will never ever happen. Paris Hilton to portray Mother Teresa. Britney Spears to star in a remake of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Paris, Britney, and Lindsay Lohan to appear together in an ultra-hilarious HBO sitcom. The best source for these tall tales is our very own Mother Goose, FemaleFirst, who tells about Britney's new...
(full story) | 19 Jun 2009 - Wait Till They See What's Printed on the TP
Of course of Paris Hilton has nude pictures of herself hanging all over her house. And of course she would invite Access Hollywood over and point and giggle and say, "You can see my boobies, teehee." You know you weren't expecting her to be all like, "This is an original, one-of-a-kind sketch given to my great-grandfather by Picasso himself. It's a really excellent example of cubism, though personally I prefer his rose period, my...
(full story) | 16 Jun 2009 - Lindsay Lohan, Jewel Thief
We are not diplomatic here at CelebNewsWire. We do not feel that all celebrities are created equal. We have no qualms about mocking Paris Hilton's herpes outbreaks. And in the same day we can wax poetic on the beauty of Amy Adams. She's just better than Paris, that's all. And along those lines, we also believe that not all celebrity gossip is created equal. Some days all we have is Megan Fox blathering on...
(full story) | 12 Jun 2009 - CNW Junk Drawer: Heidi Montag Twatt
• You WILL see Heidi Montag nude in Playboy. Just what you always wanted! (Yeeeah!) • Hands off the Brad Pitt. Do not touch the Brad Pitt. That means you, Ann Curry. (Anything Hollywood) • When Megan Fox gets a manicure, she actually gets a pedicure. Get it? No? Click on the link then, Einstein. (The Blemish) • Real Madrid soccer dude Cristiano Ronaldo allegedly let Paris Hilton handle his balls. (The Hollywood Gossip)...
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