Recent news stories14 May 2008 - CNW Junk Drawer: "If I Was Cyclops and You Were Jean Grey"
• Singer/asshole Ryan Adams goes to comic shop expressly for the purpose of fondling Mandy Moore. Nerds everywhere cut selves. (The Blemish) • Tara Reid works a bikini, haters be damned. (Drunken Stepfather) • It's entirely possible that Tony Romo will never fumble with Jessica Simpson's footballs again. (Yeeeah!) • Celebrity Muppets. (Cityrag) • Kelly Brook is back together with your friend Billy Zane. (F-listed) • Lily Allen once sang that she wanted to see...
(full story) | 7 Nov 2007 - CNW Junk Drawer: Matt n' Mandy, Sittin' in a Tree
• Is our sweet angel Mandy Moore getting Binged? Oh Christ, NO! (Yeeeah!) • Our favorite opiate connoisseur, Porky Petey Dough-erty, has returned to form. Now with video! (Drunken Stepfather)...
(full story) | 12 Sep 2007 - Mandy Moore Slurps Pole
Mandy Moore puts a song in our hearts and a spring in our step. We imagine that she wakes up each morning and has a precious army of twittering bluebirds...
(full story) | 16 Aug 2007 - John Mayer Likes the Pretty Ladies
Yesterday we saw pictures of Mandy Moore and John Mayer, presumably on a date. We weren't too happy about the prospect of Mandy getting Jessica Simpson's secondhand cooties, especially...
(full story) | 25 Jul 2007 - Cate Blanchett Showsitt
If you are someone who frequents these pages, you're surely familiar with our assertion that the only two celebrities beyond the scope of our mocking are Mandy Moore and Cate...
(full story) | 3 Jul 2007 - Zach Braff Disguises Douchiness, Snags Barrymore
Apparently Zach Braff is on a mission to despoil lovely young actresses whom we like with his truly unique brand of scuzzy dickwaddiness. Over the weekend he was seen contaminating the otherwise pure visage of Drew Barrymore. Page Six reports: WHEN Page Six first reported that Zach Braff was flirting with Drew Barrymore at the "SNL" after-party a few months ago, we didn't think anything would come of it - after all, Barrymore was dating Spike Jonze and Braff was dating just about everyone. But they recently reconnected and spent the weekend in East Village bliss. On Saturday, the lovebirds held hands strolling down Lafayette Street and that night made out at Beauty Bar. And according to the Daily News: Zach Braff - who's not a cad, according to his blog - hit the town Saturday with Drew Barrymore. The two were spotted making out at Beauty Bar on E. 14th St., sez Gawker.com. This quote prompted us to check out Braff's website, hoping we'd get a nice diatribe defending his horrible pickup lines, but instead we got thousands upon thousands (seriously) of words filled with lame "jokes" and shameless self-promotion. Thanks, Zach! But anyhow, we thought Drew Barrymore had a bit more sense than to suck face with Zach Braff (although we had forgotten about her brief marriage to Tom Green, so we suppose it's not actually out of character). Someone needs to get this girl a copy of that Mandy Moore song right now, before he tricks her into starring in his next directorial effort, the story of an introspective aging indie-rock musician who finds love and salvation when a quirky yet adorable diner waitress refuses to fill his hash-brown order. Hilarity--and many, many songs by the Shins--ensues.
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