Recent news stories28 May 2009 - Katie Holmes Needs Sex!
We've been assuming that Katie Holmes belongs to that ultra-rare breed known as asexuals—along with Morrissey and Gary Coleman—and one fling with a turkey baster was enough to keep her snatch satiated for a couple of decades. But it turns out that Katie is just dying for sex. She wants it! She needs it! She craves it! And Tommy just won't give it to her. Awwww. A Chatty Cathy blabbed: Katie has become noticeably...
(full story) | 10 Mar 2009 - And For That, Twelve Hail L. Rons and Four Our Xenus
Katie Holmes and wee spouse Tom Cruise are just your ordinary, everyday couple. They enjoy watching their child grow. They make it a Blockbuster night. They enjoy meals together. They have spats, they make up. But only after Katie is forced to sit down in a cold dark room and compose a 1000 word essay detailing exactly why she was bad. According to the Daily Mail: Katie Holmes may be coming to the end of...
(full story) | 5 Mar 2009 - Like a Lohan, Touched for the 486,823rd Time
Former actress/current faux lesbian Lindsay Lohan has a lot of time on her hands these days. A LOT. Like, "I'm just here hanging with my girlfriend while she works because I'm supportive, not because I don't have a job and I ran out of money so I can't go shopping. Supportive." So it's understandable that she'd throw a hissy fit over losing a magazine cover to Katie Holmes. If she's not freaking out over...
(full story) | 26 Jan 2009 - Last Night Some Famous People Won Some Things
So the SAG awards were last night. You might know them by their alternate name, the "Not Golden Globes or Oscars Awards." Some of the big winners (full list here) at the ceremony were Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, 30 Rock, Heath Ledger, and Slumdog Millionaire. And can we get some noise for Katie Holmes's nipple in that dress? Talk about SAG! Bet you didn't see that one coming....
(full story) | 11 Dec 2008 - Yo Holmes, You Gots the Herp II
When Katie Holmes last had an outbreak of oozing oral herpes, it was May of 2005 and she had just signed a partnership deal fallen in love with Tom Cruise. Back in those days, she thought herpes was caused by a virus and could be relieved with some Abreva and Orajel. But now it's 2008, and being a Scientologist, Katie now knows that these pesky lesions appear when malevolent extraterrestrial spirits enter a thetan because...
(full story) |
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