| Cast list | | Caroline Amborof | as | Screaming woman | | Nick Brimble | as | Krakowski | | Joe Bugner | as | Palooka | | Joe Bugner Jr. | as | Heavy 1 | | Raife Burchill | as | Garage Attendant | | David Cardy | as | Goldberg | | Alan Cash | as | Bus Driver | | Julian Clary | as | Jason | | Dave Courtney | as | Baxter | | Michael Cowan | as | Fitness Instructor | | Philip Davis | as | Frank O'Reilly | | Callum Dixon | as | Hare | | Angela Douglas | as | Celestia | | Lisa Faulkner | as | Lauren | | Emma Ford | as | Ring Girl | | Hugh Fraser | as | Arthur Burnett CBE | | James Hicks | as | Mr. Arcy | | Ruth Jones | as | Gladys | | Paterson Joseph | as | Sean Boetang | | Howard Lew Lewis | as | Kent | | Gary Logue | as | Guy Clarke | | Stephen Marcus | as | Lenny Von Something | | Nick Moran | as | Des | | Alexander Newland | as | Gregory (as Alex Newland) | | George Osman | as | Smith 2 | | Tony Osman | as | Smith 1 | | Ray Parlour | as | Vince | | Graham Pountney | as | Doctor | | Cleo Rocos | as | Sharon | | David J. Ross | as | Skinny Graham | | Adam Saint | as | Debt collector | | David Seaman | as | Huge Gangster | | Steve Speirs | as | Mystery Man | | Terry Stone | as | Repro Man | | Gary Tiplady | as | Burke | | Badi Uzzaman | as | Singh | | Samantha Womack | as | Trixie (as Samantha Janus) |
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